I’m 40 weeks pregnant, I made it full term! When I reflect on the past 9 months, much of what I feel is admiration and respect. Respect for me, respect for my body, my baby and my unwavering choice to view pregnancy as a gift. Something that I was made for and capable of, as opposed to this inconvenient or unfair endeavour women must take.
Some of pregnancy is undoubtedly inconvenient, like the bodily changes that can affect our mood, hormones, weight, appetite, memory and our sleep. Not to mention the food restrictions, forced sobriety and career freezes.
Without question, it can be difficult at times. However, in my opinion, the difficulty is part of what makes pregnancy such an honour to endure. If it were easy, we wouldn’t feel so empowered by the experience. It’s creation, it’s life, it’s what binds women together in this one amazing thing that humanity (as we know it) depends on. For that reason, my admiration extends past myself onto women as a whole, whom have carried and delivered. We are nothing short of extraordinary.
Do I want to be pregnant forever? No. Am I ready to meet my baby and have my old body back? Yes. Just like many Mother’s before me, I have had moments of discomfort. But I have to confess, mostly, I’ve really enjoyed it.
Truly, the whole process has fascinated me. I find the weekly changes to both baby and me, so interesting. I love my bump and the connection I feel to this little human growing inside me. I’ve been blown away by the support and advice offered from new and experienced Mothers. I get super giddy when I fold her tiny pieces of clothing. It’s enough for me to just image dressing my daughter in them. Additionally, I’ve been baby proofing our flat and setting up all the things, which has been more of a fun task, than a daunting chore. Lastly, I’ve been touched by the generosity of our friends & family in all corners, who have gifted us with some key necessities that will make our lives easier. If any of you are reading this, we thank you kindly.
As I reach the finish line, I feel a combination of excitement, curiosity and a bit of fear. Mostly because it’s unknown territory and there will surely be some surprises. I have my birth plan written up, my birth partner on board (Jack), my hospital bag packed, her nursery set up (in our room) and my parents coming to support us.
The final exercise that I chose to do before the baby comes was to write her a personalised letter. While I won’t go into my hopes and preferences for the labour ward, I will share an emotional part of her letter that came straight from the heart:
‘To my daughter,
I wish so many things for you, but for now, I mostly wish for your health and wellbeing. I am so excited to meet you my darling girl – to hold you and smell you – to nurse you and to teach you, and to help you grow. I cannot wait to see what kind of woman you grow into. Undoubtedly, you will be one special kind of person that the world is lucky to have.
But before you grow up, I will enjoy the little things. I will embrace all the stages of your development. I will do my best to be the grounded and centered Momma you need. While I may not be perfect, I will stay open and keep learning. I will tap into my intuition and tune into your needs. I will keep you fed and warm.
I will do my best to practice what I teach and lead by example through my actions. I will make a continuous effort to keep a healthy, loving, and strong relationship with your Dad. We will provide a sturdy and reliable family foundation, for us and for you. I will offer guidance when you need it, yet give you the space to be your own person and make your own choices. I will support you in harnessing your strengths and finding your passions. I will always listen to you with attention and respect. I will maintain my own wellbeing, so I can then cater to yours. Lastly, I will set parental boundaries when necessary.
While I haven’t met you yet, it already feels like an immense honour to be your Mother. It’s going to be a journey, but we are in it together – for life.
See you when you’re ready for me baby girl!
That’s it for now. I may go radio silent for a couple weeks after baby comes, but will update the world in due course.
Thank you for reading and wish us luck!