Acceptance is another word for approval which is a process of assessing if something is suitable/valid, or in high school terms “cool.” Really, acceptance is what everyone wants but not everyone gets. In our society as we know it, each individual has personal values, morals and standards for themselves that often reflect their experiences in life. For example, how they were raised, what type of friends they hung out with, where they grew up, how they were treated etc. Sometimes people will take on opinions that they may not actually agree with, but have been conditioned to believe due to surrounding influences. These opinions can become the standards for one person to asses another individual and evaluate whether what they are doing, saying, or being is acceptable in accordance with what is important to them. In others words, these opinions are used to measure approval of other people’s behaviour. However, issues arise here because people can become so emotionally attached to their opinions that they can’t understand, or perhaps don’t want to understand others that differ from theirs- so instead, they judge.
Social media is a perfect example which I find interesting because in our age of technology it’s a platform where people seem to look for acceptance the most, but rarely will anyone be fully accepted. There’s always going to be someone criticising… so let them.
I’ve chosen to write about this topic because too many times have I seen people refrain from expressing themselves authentically for fear of being criticised or judged. Too many times have I seen social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) full of criticism and negativity. Social media is a platform for sharing- your life, your stories and your photos. So why do so many people disapprove when these tools of social media get used for exactly what they were created for? I’ve heard a few different complaints like, peoples statuses is just bragging, I hate getting invited to events, posting couple photos is lame, Instagram photos are for attention, selfies are so self-absorbed and the list goes on.Social media is meant for sharing, it simply would not exist if people didn’t share. And does anyone really have the right to decide what’s “appropriate” in the social media world? In my opinion, as long people are feeling good about what they are posting (whatever that may be) post away! If you’re excited about something be excited, if you are proud of something be proud, if you are passionate about something be passionate. If you want to share something…Share it! One should never have to hold back from doing something that feels natural to them for fear that it won’t be accepted. Following that natural feeling, is being yourself – the only person you should ever be. Often times, if people dislike or are offended by something that they see or read, it has little to do with the actual content that has been presented. But rather it has sparked some sort personal insecurity, which in-turn gives them a feeling of discomfort and for whatever reason, that post is associated with that feeling- hence the criticism that comes afterwards. Alternatively, perhaps some people just really don’t enjoy seeing the content of what’s happening in the lives of their friends, which is completely fine, but I’d suggest not having social media if that’s the case.
One thing that I really struggle to understand is when I see somebody take the wind from someone else’s sails due to a portrayal of unnecessary negativity. I’ve seen people’s excitement taken out from underneath them, I’ve seen smiles turn into frowns, I’ve seen confidence turned into insecurity, I’ve seen laughter turned into silence. For me, there’s nothing much worse than taking the feeling of joy away from somebody else… And for what? I suppose through this entry I’m trying to encourage everyone (myself included) to be mindful of their words, whether it’s through social media or face to face. Next time you think to yourself “wow I can’t believe they dress like that, talk like that, behave like that,” step back and ask yourself why it upsets you? Why don’t you accept it? You might find that if you honestly answer this question, the discomfort you felt actually has nothing to do with that person but everything to do with you.
It’s all about positive vibrations people. Would you rather a person that brings a smile to someone’s face or takes it away? Sure there’s teasing and playing around that brings out some laughs between friends, but when there’s malice behind the words- that’s when the line becomes blurry. Acceptance is a gift you give to yourself and to others- a liberation from false expectation. In the words of Joan Rivers, “I have no methods, all I do is accept people as they are.” Thanks for reading!
