It’s been months since I’ve written/ typed anything on paper. I find this to be a strange reality considering I’ve been journaling since I was 8 years old and blogging on a monthly basis for the last 4 years. If I ask myself the obvious question, what has changed? I’m well aware of it. For me, creativity flows when I have the space available. In other words, somewhere for it go. Ever since I moved to London, my space is all taken up one big ‘to-do’ list. Admittedly, it is a pretty good to-do list, mostly dedicated to sustaining my life and maintaining a balanced lifestyle with work, health, travel, relationships and play. Yet, sometimes, even with the satisfaction that comes from being productive and ticking off the boxes, I can find myself pulled out of the present moment and into something else. It’s like coasting along without really taking anything in, at least in the way that’s warranted.
I wrote a blog post at the beginning of 2018 called ‘Tossing to To-do List and going a bit deeper’ and here we are into June and I’m still coasting along, without taking my own advice. Relocating to London was an intentional and conscious choice, with much consideration. My goals have evolved in some ways and stayed the same in others. I reached a few, missed some and have a goody bag full of others yet to achieve – some more reachable than others. But if I could hone in on one goal that affects me daily, perhaps the most important goal of all, it would be to show up in my life, wholeheartedly present. To really be in the moment, rather than consumed and distracted by schedules, obligations and ‘to do’s.’ Finding the sweet spot of managing my day-to-day life gracefully and effectively, yet still taking in the full potential of our human experience. From the small things like my walk to work, to choosing ingredients at the grocery store, and washing the dishes, to the big things like having coffee with a friend, snuggling with Jack, walking in nature, travelling to new destinations and tackling challenging situations at work. It’s all connected. Why try to reach any goal, if you aren’t enjoying the process that’s taking you there?
I’ve listened to enough podcast and read enough books to understand the tools, habits and behaviours that could turn this around, but sometimes I think it’s much deeper than that, like the ’tips and tricks’ can be just another distraction pulling us out of fully being in our own lives. While I’m very supportive of people sharing knowledge, life hacks and ways that we can all better ourselves, I’m also a believer in the potency of grasping a feeling, rather than the concept. For example, telling yourself you’ve moved on from something, yet the pain lingers. You’ve grasped the concept of moving on, but not the feeling or experience around it and so it remains.
In noticing that I haven’t been writing has been a friendly reminder that I need to prioritise doing the things that I enjoy and leave space for the free-flow of life. Use my senses, watch my thoughts and reflect in a quiet space when possible. Think about a time when you felt really good, like you might explode with joy. Chances are, it was a moment that you were freed from distractions and limitations of time, fully present and engaged in that experience. We all know these moments and that’s where the magic is. While I understand life is a combination of ebbs and flows, highs and lows, something tells me that I could be having so many more highs if I could surrender, accept and find that sweet spot that’s been calling me.
Eckhart Tolle wrote, “It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” Well, waiting is just not an option anymore. Let’s do this!