Sometimes, all you need is one person to believe in you. Other times, you have to muster up the strength to believe in yourself.
My year has be an interesting mix of highs and lows. My close friends, family and certainly Jack, know what I mean by that. None of it being overly tragic or unfixable, but more emotionally taxing and at times, confusing.
I had a few rocky moments at work, where pressure, stress and the feeling of instability started weighing on me. While I try and be open to constructive feedback, sometimes it’s hard to hear. It’s definitely easier to run away from it, than face it, take it onboard and do something about it.
A few months ago, I was in a very grey area at work and ultimately had no idea what was going on. As of late, I mustered up a bit of courage to have a couple important conversations to get some clarity and help me understand exactly where I stood and what I needed to improve. As it turned out, to my delight, and to my surprise, I stood in a pretty good place. I’ve come to learn that my working environment requires a particular type of attitude. The pull up your socks and don’t take anything too personally kind. It’s always a work in progress, but I’m getting better at that.
Mostly, the stress came from important life choices hanging over me, and the impeding expiration date of my visa. A lot of London expats know this feeling well. I had all kinds of spinning thoughts, with nowhere stable to put them. Uncertain, ungrounded and desperately wanting answers from my employer, so I could confidently start moving the necessary pieces of my life forward.
Jack and I moved to London for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we ran out of money travelling, and while we could have gone back to one of our respective countries, we weren’t ready. Secondly, we both wanted to take on another adventure. Granted, it looked a bit different to our 2 years prior when we got to travel across 16 countries together. But, it was still something new and challenging. For us, that equates to exciting and rewarding.
Admittedly, I’ve been in tears a few times and I’ve been lonely other times. London has pushed me, tested me and hardened me. I work more hours than any other workplace I’ve worked at, and I’ve become more efficient with my time than I ever was prior. London has a pace of it’s own and the only option you have, is to keep up! Sounds enticing right? Well, maybe not forever. For now, this city gives me a rush and I’m content here. Being on the doorstep of Europe is a happy medium between working full-time and travelling easily. Jack and I needed to find our sweet spot. Somewhere we could find that fine balance of work and play. Well, truthfully ‘balanced’ is debatable, but exciting, stimulating and fun, isn’t.
So here we are, in the process of getting an additional 5-year visa in London. After a bit of chaos and uncertainty, the dust has started to settle. We have pile of visa related administration to work through, but it’s all happening. Now we keep going, with no set agenda aside from continuing to build. Build up our skills, our confidence, our health, our relationship, our finances, our friendships, our dreams – our life.
Thanks for reading!